Friendships seem to come and go and some seem to prosper in my life, I always had this undying ability to hold on to my male friendships more than others. I can recall trying to fit into the mold of others and I still do unfortunately fall victim to it. I realize as time springs forward and I get older my pool of happiness has to seem to stray away from me, but not to far. I’m always content in my life but its very few moments where I am overly happy, I look at the people I surround myself with and often analyze how do I become friends with these distinctive opposing personalities. Yet I take myself back to the many moments I have with my best friends and realize I am capable of smiling and laughing and stepping out of the element that people recognize as a norm of me: serious, sarcastic, intellect, and so forth. People fail to realize, I am: humorous, open, funny, goofy, etc.
Real friendships seem hard to come by or it just may be me being the observant person that I am analyzing every ones friendships expect my own? Who knows, I can say over the past 2 to 3 years friendships seem to be nothing to people I’ve witness best friends talk about each other as if they hadn’t just been on the phone 5 minutes ago sharing stuff you don’t share with other people. Maybe it is just me and my anal ways to see that friendships aren’t SHIT to anyone anymore. I tend to hold my tongue for people, sugar coat things and in essence it is usually for my friends, I sometimes feel ashamed to say that I can’t share personal information or issues with a friend as they can with me. It is wrong? No I’ve learned that it is not, maybe friendships are my downfalls and I tend to overanalyze people but if I can’t share personal information with them what is the purpose of the friendship in the first place? Wow, so in essence to me actually writing that ongoing thought out I take this issue further to address another issue and ask myself really why are these specific people are in my life? I had a very interesting conversation with someone I wouldn’t call one of my best friends, but a very close one someone I could confide in, and this person brought to light that you don’t have to in turn confide in them as they would you, that doesn’t justifiably make the friendship. The person might be someone you could hang around for a good time, but in my mind that is someone you call an associate. Definitions can vary from person to person and I see my definition of friendship and the many sub points that it consist of are different from others.
At the end of the day I still let life flow, I feel that if I purposely let go some of these friendships that I question what was the purpose for them falling into my path in the first place? I guess its one of those things that you just have to think about but I’ve come to a point where I’m tired of thinking, I do love my BESTFRIENDS and close friends and can only count on my both hands those I really talk to and share things with, my theory has always been quality over quantity. So I see most people don’t follow this theory, but hey they aren’t me. I’m just one of those odd puzzle pieces that got left in the rain overnight and when trying to be put back into the puzzle it just doesn’t work, and in the end I have no problem with that.
Good Night World.
Sparkle
Real friendships seem hard to come by or it just may be me being the observant person that I am analyzing every ones friendships expect my own? Who knows, I can say over the past 2 to 3 years friendships seem to be nothing to people I’ve witness best friends talk about each other as if they hadn’t just been on the phone 5 minutes ago sharing stuff you don’t share with other people. Maybe it is just me and my anal ways to see that friendships aren’t SHIT to anyone anymore. I tend to hold my tongue for people, sugar coat things and in essence it is usually for my friends, I sometimes feel ashamed to say that I can’t share personal information or issues with a friend as they can with me. It is wrong? No I’ve learned that it is not, maybe friendships are my downfalls and I tend to overanalyze people but if I can’t share personal information with them what is the purpose of the friendship in the first place? Wow, so in essence to me actually writing that ongoing thought out I take this issue further to address another issue and ask myself really why are these specific people are in my life? I had a very interesting conversation with someone I wouldn’t call one of my best friends, but a very close one someone I could confide in, and this person brought to light that you don’t have to in turn confide in them as they would you, that doesn’t justifiably make the friendship. The person might be someone you could hang around for a good time, but in my mind that is someone you call an associate. Definitions can vary from person to person and I see my definition of friendship and the many sub points that it consist of are different from others.
At the end of the day I still let life flow, I feel that if I purposely let go some of these friendships that I question what was the purpose for them falling into my path in the first place? I guess its one of those things that you just have to think about but I’ve come to a point where I’m tired of thinking, I do love my BESTFRIENDS and close friends and can only count on my both hands those I really talk to and share things with, my theory has always been quality over quantity. So I see most people don’t follow this theory, but hey they aren’t me. I’m just one of those odd puzzle pieces that got left in the rain overnight and when trying to be put back into the puzzle it just doesn’t work, and in the end I have no problem with that.
Good Night World.
Sparkle
Assertively Complex.
ready for the longest comment ever!?
ReplyDeletehappiness tends to be a fleeting emotion babydoll, there's nothing wrong with the fact that you're not HAPPY HAPPY all the time. i hope you consider me a friend that you can share things with because you're one of my favorite people & i love you so! i feel you on this though, we're so much alike in the regard that we overanalyze people and the things they do *sigh* i kinda dig the 'associate' thing. i just have different classifications of friends; some i can talk to and listen to, some are just good to go out partying with, some are great to go shopping with (you fall into all three categories, YAY!), etc. just keep being you babycakes.
AND I'M SO EXCITED THAT YOU'RE BLOGGINGGGGGG.
k, i'm done :)
♥